Feeling the Love at Christmas

To me, Christmas is about embracing the festive season and making it magical. Sharing this wonderful occasion with family and friends, connecting with people, being grateful for all that is wonderful in our lives and celebrating the gift of giving.

Part of Christmas is also amazing food which ranges from the traditional ham and roast turkey with all the trimmings, to seafood, cold meat platters and salads. And who could go past plum pudding, Christmas cake, chocolates, summer fruits and whatever else the table is laden with? Food is a big part of the festive season. Magazines that hit the stands in January typically feature post festive season dieting tips. And leading up to Christmas, there is plenty of information doing the rounds about party food no-no’s if you want to maintain your figure.

I’d like to take this one step further – or perhaps a step sideways – and say that how much you weigh is not an indication of self worth. Whether you are engaging with people you care about, celebrating at the end of the year Christmas party with colleagues, or dining out with friends, pay attention to how you feel on the inside. Self love is important because positive body image comes when we love ourselves from the inside out.

Take a moment to look into your heart and really feel the love that is there. And as you do, let your mind wander back over the year to some of the amazing moments you’ve experienced; triumphs; joyous moments when life has surprised you; friendships and relationships that have become important to you; places you’ve travelled; unexpected encounters; special events; and on. And recognise that these moments have profoundly shaped your year and lead to where you are now. And as the year comes to a close, and we enjoy the company of those we love and cherish, and sit down together to share a beautiful meal, trade stories, laugh and connect, if you feel love and contentment on the inside, then that is a wonderful gift.

Christmas doesn’t have to be about dwelling on what may be lacking in our lives. If we take the time to look at all the wonderful things we have now, in this moment, we naturally feel a sense of contentment. It could be simple pleasures like feeling the sunshine warm our skin, the smell of freshly cut grass, a hug from someone you love, to having a roof over our heads, special people in our lives and the promise of the endless possibilities that lay before us in the year ahead.

So, as you indulge in Christmas fare, forget about calories and make the practise of sharing a wonderful meal about feeling joyful in the moment.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas to you all, and may your festive season be filled with wondrous moments, meaningful connections, love, laughter and happiness.

Fostering Positive Body Image

With summer upon us, and the beach beckoning, this can be a challenging time for those of us susceptible to negative body image.

It's easy to get swept up in the things that bring us down and that is when self doubt can creep in. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to let go and make way for our inner child to emerge by being playful, having fun and engaging in the moment.

Being outdoors and getting active can boost our confidence, and therefore our self esteem. And nothing beats living with joy and laughter and sharing these moments with the people you love.

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want, there is a section titled 'How Do I Stay Positive?' It talks about inner wisdom; the voice that speaks from your heart. This voice represents your untapped potential to trust in your own uniqueness, your ability to strive for and realise your dreams. Only you have the power to change your life; catch negative thoughts as and when they occur and turn your thinking around, transforming your thoughts into strong, positive ideals.

Here are some tips if you start experiencing negative thoughts:

1. Ask yourself ‘where is this coming from’? Can you back track your thoughts until you find what triggered the initial negative thought? Ask yourself why this thought upset you and decide what action you can take to resolve it.
2. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel down sometimes. Everyone has bad days. Then do something to lift your mood. Read your favourite passage from a book, go for a walk in the sunshine or dance to an awesome song.
3. Create a collection of affirmations that inspire you and say them to yourself often, including when you’re in a great mood. My favourite is: “I am honest, caring and a true reflection of happiness. I am creating a wonderful life”.
4. A fun thing to do is create Affirmation Cards. Get your friends together with some index cards. On the top of each card write a person's name. Pass these around, have everyone write down one thing they love about each person and then take turns reading them aloud. Keep your affirmation card with you and look at it often.
5. Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal. How do you feel today? Why do you think you feel that way? Then choose the best moment of the day and write that down. Why was it so great? Think of ways you can create more of these moments in each day.
6. Practice gratitude. What are some of the amazing things in your life that make you smile? Great friends, sunshine, summer parties, walks on the beach … focus on these instead of thinking about what might be missing in your life.
7. If you can’t seem to escape the negative thoughts, talk, talk, talk to your trusted friends. Talk it all out. Vent until you feel better. Offloading will help you to let it go.

Remember that positive body image stems from self-love; how you feel about yourself on the inside. Keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of. As Tyra Banks famously said "Never dull your shine for somebody else". Words to live by.

The Skinny on Kate Moss

Kate Moss has caused outrage after revealing that one of her mottos is the phrase "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".

Health experts branded her comments to fashion website WWD "absolutely appalling".

Dr Carol Cooper told Sky News Online: "I was horrified when I heard it. We know she's a role model for a lot of girls and young women...and they will be adversely influenced by this."

Mary George, from UK eating disorder charity Beat, told Sky Moss' remarks "make life difficult for those struggling to beat eating disorders". She added "It's very unfortunate that comments like this are made and put on pro-anorexic websites. I'm sure she regrets making them."

A spokesperson for Storm, Moss's model agency, said: "This was part of a longer answer Kate gave during a wider-ranging interview - which has unfortunately been taken out of context and completely misrepresented. For the record - Kate does not support this as a lifestyle choice."

Despite the official comment from Moss's agency, the damage has been done.

It would be interesting to know in what context Kate Moss made such a statement, for that kind of statement can really only be construed one way. At a time where eating disorders amongst young people are on the rise more care needs to be taken by high profile role models in terms of the messages they are putting out there.

In contrast, the other day I was in my local Gloria Jeans ordering a takeaway coffee when a lady tapped me on the arm and said "I read about you in (the Sunday Telegraph's) Body & Soul a few weeks ago" and produced a copy of my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want from her bag. I was amazed to notice the array of crooked post-it notes protruding from the pages. She went on to tell me how her niece had suffered anorexia for three years and the family were devastated because nothing seemed to be working. She said the section in my book 'Helping Someone You Love' had given the family some much needed guidance in terms of what to say - and importantly, what not to say, and the stories about people who had suffered through the turbulent and lonely existence of an eating disorder and then gone on to create happy and successful lives was also inspiring.

"I am going to visit my niece this afternoon and show her your book," she said. I picked up my latte, smiled and wished her well. As I watched her walk away tears filled my eyes. The process of writing my book was intensely emotional as it was rewarding - and random encounters like these warm my heart because it's proof that my book is out there helping people.

If Kate Moss had looked into this woman's eyes when she spoke of her niece and seen the pain and helplessness, perhaps she would have a different take on what "skinny" tastes like.

Now more than ever, we need to empower our young people to love themselves from the inside out, because self-love inspires confidence which inspires positive body image.

Computer Program to track Self Harm Risk

A recent study found that two thirds of young people who self harm don't tell anyone 1. I have spoken with many people who have shared with me the absolute anguish and desperation that led to cutting or burning themselves, and yet despite the momentary 'relief', their emotional pain continued.

25% of people with eating disorders engage in self harming behaviour 2. I was so alarmed by this statistic that I included a chapter titled 'Scarred and Scared' in my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues to help people understand and overcome self harm.

Now there is a computer program being researched by two Victoria University of Wellington researchers. Dr Tiong-Thye Goh and student assistant Yen-Pei Huang have created a system to scan social networking websites and identify key words posted by people aged between 18 and 24.

"Social networking sites have in recent years become an increasingly popular avenue for young people to express and to share their thoughts, views and emotions," Goh said. "When young people are emotionally distressed for instance, instead of the traditional channel of consulting friends, parents or specialists, social networking blogs may provide a channel to share and release their emotions and intentions."

The researchers developed technology that picked up key words and phrases such as "depressed" or "I don't want to live any more". The option of needing help would link to an appropriate website that provides useful information and links.

While this is a fantastic initiative, it is important to note that if you are feeling alone and isolated, there are strategies that will help avert the need to self harm. Creating a similar physical sensation can dissipate overwhelming feelings and emotions. Try squeezing ice cubes in your hand, thrusting your arm into a bucket of cold water, plunging your fingers into some ice-cream or snapping an elastic band against your wrist. Because these intense emotions are fleeting, creating a similar physical sensation will allow the feelings to pass - without leaving scars.

Coming to terms with the underlying causes of self harm is an important part of understanding what motivates this behaviour. Being honest about thoughts, feelings and behaviours with a therapist and establishing motivation is the first step to working through them and an important part of the recovery process.

For more information go Here

1 Children, Youth and Women's Health (2009)
2 Sansone, R.A., Levitt, J.L. and Sansone, R.A. (2003), 'Eating disorders and self-harm behaviour: A chaotic intersection', Eating Disorders Review, vol. 14, pp.1-3

Canberra Hosts Conference to Tackle Eating Disorders

The first meeting to establish a national framework for combating eating disorders was held on Saturday in Canberra. This is a positive step forward in raising the awareness that eating issues and disorders such as anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder are not lifestyle choices; they are serious mental illnesses that require professional treatment.

In an article on the ABC website, National Eating Disorders Collaboration director Christine Morgan said it is important to consider what is needed on a national basis to halt the growing problem.

"One in four people in Australia will know someone with an eating disorder, but I should stress it is not just an illness that effects women, it does effect men," she said. "Whilst it presents in most instances in adolescence, we're also seeing some quite young children coming through with eating disorders and it can also present in later life."

As someone who is passionate about reducing the incidence of eating disorders in our community, I was present at the meeting in Canberra and overwhelmed by the amount of people who attended. We all share the same desire - to spread the word to the broader community about early warning signs, early intervention for a positive outcome and how to help families foster positive body image so that confidence and self esteem are instilled in children from as young as preschool age.

I was involved in the "Promotion & Prevention" group during the conference and although I believe that prevention is possible through greater awareness of the dangers of dieting, I am also painfully aware of the many people out there currently suffering an eating issue, and as much as they want recovery, do not know how to break free.

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues, there is a section about what to do if you are struggling with the concept of recovery. Key insights from people I interviewed who have recovered include: "I couldn't have recovered without the support and understanding of my parents"; "Finding someone you trust and who you feel comfortable talking to is so important"; "I used to worry what other people thought of me but now I know it doesn't matter what others think of you, it is enough to respect yourself and value yourself as a person"; "Counselling helped me address issues from my past and forgive people who had hurt me - including myself"; "I learnt that in order to get better, I had to make a decision and wrestle back the control"; "Identify what you are passionate about and let this be the driving force for your recovery".

It is important to not lose hope. Recovery is possible and with the development and implementation of the national framework, there will be a greater focus on helping individuals, families, schools and communities prevent and combat these devastating illnesses.

Information about Saturday's conference will be posted on the Eating Disorders Australian National Network website in the coming weeks.

Is Food Intolerance an Eating Disorder in Disguise?

Australian Consolidated Press launched one-off health magazine Your Body this week. The magazine aims to help women live a healthy, balanced life and covers everything from nutrition, stress management, relationships and emotional wellbeing to health and fitness.

An article in Your Body titled 'Allergy or Anxiety; the rise of the 30-something eating disorder' explores food intolerance as a judgement free way of restricting food intake. This article is a must read for anyone who knows someone suffering food intolerance as while many women suffer from genuine conditions, others use this as a convenient excuse to avoid certain types of food.

With orthorexia, sufferers are obsessed with pure and organic food and will only put that which they deem 'healthy' into their mouths, sometimes resulting in cutting out entire food groups such as dairy and meats & protein. However, their motivation is to feel pure and healthy.

With anorexia, the underlying motivation is to lose weight by restricting food. So claiming to suffer from a food intolerance provides the perfect excuse to eliminate certain elements from a meal, thus aiding the anorexic behaviour.

It can be a powerful disguise. When I struggled with anorexia, the first thing I did was announce I had turned vegetarian because of cruelty to animals. Of course the real reason was to avoid eating meat. Then I discovered the new health buzz word was IBS and claimed to suffer from this condition. I refused to eat anything that had a skerrick of butter or sauce, vehemently insisting it would unsettle my stomach and cause cramps and bloating.

A recent US study found that only one in four people who believed they had a food allergy or intolerance actually had one. Further evidence is provided by the UK's Allergy Foundation which estimates that two to three percent of people have a true allergic disorder. While not everyone with a food allergy or intolerance is suffering from an eating disorder, I know from personal experience that when you do have an eating disorder, you will use any excuse to avoid food.

With yet another way to mask disordered eating, it can be even more difficult to recognise in someone you love.

In my book Why Cant' I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues there is a chapter that explains the early warning signs - one of which is going on an unusually strict diet. Others include avoiding eating in front of people or with the family, making excuses such as 'I ate lunch at my friend's house' or 'I'll grab something on the way to work'. Also a sudden obsession in the preparation of food. There are also changes in disposition; the person may become suddenly hostile if questioned about their aversion towards food.

If you suspect someone might be using food allergies or intolerance as a way of hiding an eating disorder, unfortunately most of these warning signs apply. However, the change in disposition is key. Hostility is often a sign of emotional imbalance and if you see this in someone you love coupled with food avoidance, sit them down and let them know you care about them and are concerned about their behaviour. One of the best ways you can help someone you love is to let them know you are there for them, even if you don't understand. Unconditional love, as simple as it sounds, is most effective.

Fasion Magazine goes Model Free

Birgitte, one of Germany's most popular glossy women's magazines, announced yesterday that it will no longer use models in photo spreads in response to changing ideas about beauty.

Instead, the Hamburg-based title plans to choose from readers who register online and staff members based on their meaningful qualities rather than their dress size.

“Attractiveness has many faces,” editor Brigitte Huber said in a statement. “Whether they are actresses, musicians, first ladies or women on the streets of big cities – they all affect fashion and beauty styles.”

The new concept will start next year and is a response to two different trends, co-editor Andreas Lebert said in the statement. “Behind the career of a model lies the idea of not showing women themselves, but instead a place holder – a model of a certain size. Now many women find this outdated, especially the beauty ideals, also moulded by the fashion industry, that are highly controversial,” he said.

Dr. Lisa Pecho, a Munich-based psychotherapist and spokesperson for the BFE national professional association for eating disorder treatment experts, said “I think it’s fantastic what they’re doing. It will serve as a big example. This magazine has a huge influence in Germany. There are many factors that create eating disorders, but the media is certainly a big one.”

This follows reports a few weeks ago that French politicians wish to stamp a 'health warning' on photographs of models that are altered as part of a campaign against eating disorders. The proposed law is designed to fight what they see as a warped image of women's bodies in the media.

And in March this year in Australia, a code of conduct for the fashion industry was set in motion through a Federal Government initiative which saw the creation of a new body image advisory group. Headed up by fashion, health and media experts, including Sarah Murdoch, Mia Freedman and teen magazine editor Sarah Cornish, the aim is to develop national strategies that promote healthy body image.

It appears the rest of the world is starting to follow suit, which is a much needed step forward in the fight against eating disorders. Promoting a realistic body image to our younger generations will empower confidence and self-esteem, which in turn, will serve to eliminate damaging trends.

To read the article go Here