Advice for Grandparents

What should you do if you notice a change in your grandchild’s eating habits?

The first thing to do is to talk to your child (the parent) about your concerns so that you can share ideas to help your grandchild and collaborate on a course of action.

If your child, who is now the parent, experienced eating issues, chances are they will already be vigilant when it comes to their own child and may be taking steps to address the problem.

It has been proven that early intervention can lead to a more positive outcome so it helps to be familiar with the early warning signs:

• Going on an unusually strict diet
• Making excuses to avoid mealtimes
• Avoiding eating in front of others
• An aversion to certain foods previously enjoyed
• A sudden interest in the calorific content of food
• Excessive exercise
• Wearing baggy clothing to hide weight loss
• Change in disposition; hostility

Helping someone you love help their child

• Seek guidance from The Butterfly Foundation, an organisation dedicated to helping individuals and families deal with eating issues.
• Ensure you have a plan of action in terms of working together in the grandchild’s best interests, so that if your child needs a break and you are taking care of your grandchild, the rules apply in both households. This will help prevent your grandchild playing you off against each other.
• The most important thing to remember is to not lose hope.
• Don’t wait for your grandchild to ask for help but don’t push them either. Unconditional love, as simple as it sounds, is most effective

Do not:

• Try to catch them out. People with eating issues dislike themselves enough already and when people are unsympathetic they have even more reason to keep it hidden.
• Watch them eat. It draws attention to the problem and makes the person feel like they can’t eat because that’s what’s expected.
• Pretend nothing is wrong – this only serves to feed the eating disorder.
• Give up on them. You never know what is around the corner that will help them make the shift towards recovery. If you give up it sends the message that they should too.

Come from a place of love and compassion and try to stay open so that if your grandchild chooses to open up to you, you can be there for them.

Private Mentor Program Launched to Help Achieve Recovery

As an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people recover from eating disorders, I have decided to make myself available to conduct private mentoring sessions for people in recovery.

The statistics are shocking and show that eating issues are extremely prevalent:

• Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychological illness
• 68% of 15 year old females are on a diet
• Early onset eating disorder is being diagnosed in children as young as 5
  

I personally feel that more needs to be done to reduce the incidence of eating disorders, especially amongst teenagers – so I have designed a program that aims to compliment or enhance the work an individual is doing or has already done with a therapist, counselor or psychologist.

I will use my personal experience recovering from anorexia and rebuilding my life, and what I have learned over the past 10 years talking to people about what helped them recover, to mentor others through the process.

My program aims to:

• Transform negative self-talk into strong positive ideals and beliefs
• Show that who you will be without the eating disorder is so much more powerful than the eating disorder itself
• Alleviate the fear of the unknown
• Empower you, or someone you love, to let go of their current situation
• Inspire the belief that yes, you can recover - and show you how
• Help you tune into the voice that speaks from your heart
• Demonstrate how believing in yourself can and will bring you everything your heart desires
• Help you find the confidence to let the eating disorder go forever
• Show you how to rebuild your life with absolute conviction and move forward to create a wonderful future
  

The prospect of abandoning your eating disorder can be terrifying – but having lost my teenage years to anorexia and turning my life around, I am passionate about mentoring others through the process.

My mentoring program will help individuals discover how to move forward with courage, confidence and conviction.

'Beginner At Life' returns to Australia

Following its acclaimed Australian premiere at the Tap Gallery in 2008, New York City playwrite Alana Ruben Free is bringing Beginner At Life back for two performances at Newtown Theatre and one at the Bondi Pavilion during April and May 2010.

This is a wonderful and inspiring event that I highly recommend. I attended three performances of Beginner At Life in 2008 and had the pleasure of spending time with Alana in Sydney, as well as New York when I visited there in 2009. Alana is a truly inspirational woman. She brings to the fore truth, authenticity and the quest for inner wisdom in her deeply moving and powerful one-woman-play that tackles eating disorders, self-image and growth.

Following the New York and Canadian seasons that starred the playwright, the Australian production will again be performed by accomplished Australian stage & screen actress Donna Brooks. Alana Ruben Free will be visiting Sydney for the performances and leading discussion sessions with expert panelists after each show. I am honoured to be asked to take part as an expert panelist after the shows on Monday 26 April and 3 May and look forward to helping expand upon the compelling insight into the heart, mind and body of a woman who has suffered from anorexia.

As Alana Ruben Free’s play unfolds, one cannot help but be drawn into the heartache, anguish and despair of anorexia, only to bask in the exhilaration and ultimate freedom of recovery through finding connection with your heart and true self. Beginner At Life is a riveting and poignant account of one woman’s tumultuous journey that will resonate with the desire that lies in all of us for truth, love, connection and purpose.

Beginner At Life
Monday 26 April and Monday 3 May at Newtown Theatre, Cnr King and Brays Streets
Sunday 9 May, Bondi Pavilion Theatre, Queen Street, Bondi Beach
Tickets $20. Bookings MCA Ticketing 1300 306 776 or online

For more information visit www.beginneratlife.com

Pregnancy a Potential Trigger for Eating Disorders

An article in yesterday’s Courier Mail brought awareness to the issue that women in their 30s and 40s are increasingly seeking help to battle eating disorders because of pressure to be “yummy mummies”.

The Butterfly Foundation’s Julie Parker said the eating disorder support service was increasingly being contacted by older women – or their husbands and partners – for help.

She said: "Any time a person's body experiences significant physical change, such as a pregnancy or menopause, it increases the potential of them experiencing body image, self-esteem and weight-related concerns."

A recent survey conducted by Tommy’s, the baby charity, and Johnson’s Baby company, showed the number of mums-to-be more concerned about fitting into their skinny jeans than their baby’s health is rising. The survey also found one in 50 British women develops an eating disorder during pregnancy.

Having suffered from anorexia as a teenager and recovered by my early twenties, I can vouch first hand that falling pregnant was a very challenging time. Of course, it should have been a celebration of one of life’s gifts. But instead, I felt terrified because I knew that my body was going to change and there was nothing I could do about it.

The day I couldn’t fit into my favourite pair of jeans was the most confronting. I felt paralysed by fear. I tried to focus on the life growing inside me and how amazing that was. After hours of soul searching, I decided to be pragmatic about the situation and visit a maternity shop.

I felt excited about my new pregnancy clothes … until someone said to me ‘look how fat you are’. I wanted to say ‘I’m not fat I’m pregnant’ but that confidence evaded me. The second I was alone, I cried hysterically. ‘You’re fat’ is the worst thing anyone can say to someone who once suffered anorexia.

That one comment was enough to trigger a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions, and although outwardly I appeared happy and together, inside I felt terrified about gaining weight and what my body would look like after the baby was born. I had trouble looking at myself in the mirror. When I ran my hands over my swollen belly to try to connect with the growing being inside, I felt sick with fear.

I decided to revisit the reasons I ditched anorexia all those years ago. I thought about how happy I’d been when I recovered, how much joy I’d derived from life. And again, I had a choice – to embrace my pregnancy and trust that my body would do what it had to do to produce a healthy baby. Or fight it and risk the health and wellbeing of myself and my unborn child.

So I made the decision to look deeply, turn my fear and uncertainty around, and trust the process.

One of the things that helped me was a magnet that came with an item of maternity wear. It simply said: “Yes you look beautiful”. I looked at this often, reminding myself that my body was beautiful, and that I too was beautiful on the inside. I developed affirmations associated with loving and nurturing myself so that my baby would be healthy. I reminded myself of the importance of listening to the voice that speaks from my heart. I made sure I exercised in moderation to foster a positive body image. I chose to focus on the wonder of my body growing a human being, instead of incessantly worrying about the way I looked. I shifted my focus to the things that brought me joy, planning for the baby, decorating the nursery, reading pregnancy books and combing through baby names on the internet.

Years of therapy during recovery from anorexia taught me that only I had the power to change the way I thought, and it was up to me to create the experience I wanted.

I had to trust myself, trust my body and draw on my inner strength.

I became vigilant about monitoring my thoughts and feelings that were connected with my body and weight gain. I gave myself permission to just ‘be’ during the first six weeks after the baby was born, and promised myself that after the six week check up, I’d develop a routine that included time for exercise.

Allowing myself this six week sabbatical took so much pressure away. I planned to lose the weight in moderation and without a self-imposed deadline. I decided to try on my favourite pair of jeans the same time every week, knowing that one day I would fit into them again.

That day happened five months after my son was born. I felt proud of myself for not succumbing to the pressure to lose my pregnancy weight as quickly as possible. Being honest with myself and identifying my triggers throughout pregnancy and beyond, and turning them around, enriched the experience so that it became profound and positive.

I encourage any woman suffering anxieties about pregnancy weight gain to revisit the amazing process of creating a life, and listen to the voice that speaks from their heart. Remember that pregnancy is a profound experience and you are playing a leading role in the miracle of life. That is to be celebrated.

For help contact The Butterfly Foundation

Body Image Still An Issue

This week's issue of Who Magazine is "The Body Issue". The fold-out cover showcases high profile Australians including Jodi Gordon, Tom Williams, Catriona Rowntree, Pat Rafter and Lisa Curry to name a few, in tasteful black body wear.

"The Body Issue" discusses body bullying, negative body image at school and male body image and shows how these Aussie icons embraced their bodies as they matured.

A candid interview with Vanessa Amorosi reveals the singer was body-bullied as a teen. She says "there's a lot of pressure that goes on in schools. It seems important when you're younger but with age you realise it's really not. It's about whether you're fit and happy, and doing what makes your soul content, rather than thinking "Should I eat that next piece of cake?"

Many of the people I interviewed for Why Can't I Look the Way I Want agreed that there is a great deal of pressure at school and in the peer group. Individuals with a high level of body image disturbance may be at an increased risk of developing eating disorders, with dieting the greatest risk factor. A study of adolescent girls found that 68% of 15 year-old girls are on a diet and of those, 8% are on a severe diet.

Tom Williams says "at school and growing up as a young lad, I didn't look like the other boys. They had muscle, I was just lanky and lean ... I always used to beat myself up about it".

Pat Rafter says he exercises for wellbeing and "some days you wake up and you have a bit of a fat day. I like to stay in shape and feel good about myself, but I don't go to an extreme where it goes beyond that".

Unfortunately, some guys do. 17% of males are on some form of diet and recently a Men's Forum in the UK revealed that a study of male US college students found that when guys were asked to pick their ideal body type, they chose a picture showing a man with approximate 12 kilograms more muscle than they had on their own bodies.

Body image dissatisfaction in males can directly affect self-esteem and as a result, trigger a determination to alter the body through excessive exercise. Because it is socially and culturally acceptably for guys to undertake a lot of physical activity, the dissatisfaction can often go unnoticed by family and friends.

Male eating disorders can be triggered by a psychological vulnerabiltiy caused by low self esteem, feelings of loss of control, emotional vulnerability and an effort to get the 'perfect' body that is idealised by society. Warning signs include an overaggressive approach to fitness, following dietary programs to the extreme, using dietary and protein supplements, an increased interest in fitness magazines and a sudden change in eating habits.

When it comes to females Christine Anu's interview in Who Magazine gets my vote. She says "I was always unhappy as a skinny girl ... I'm really quite physically confident now. I find myself a sexy woman and I'm able to really personify that for me. You are sexy in how you feel, the confidence comes from how you carry it".

I often talk about the importance of self-love because it is my belief that positive body image stems from how you feel about yourself on the inside. Christine Anu sums this up beautifully, as does Who's statement "true confidence comes from banishing image battles and learning to love what you've got". Amen.

For more information on male eating issues go to: 9AM with David & Kim.

Children at Risk of Eating Disorders

It has been revealed by the Sun in the UK that half of Britain's six-year-old girls want to be thinner with many convinced it would make them more popular. The shock figure emerged in a study by Cambridge University experts which found most girls consider themselves too fat by age 12.

Chillingly, half the six-year-olds who were asked to pick their ideal shape went for a digitally altered image of themselves three sizes smaller - the most stick-thin they could choose.

The mother of Saffron Davies, the girl who chose the thinnest image of herself as the best, blamed the cult of airbrushed Size Zero models. “Saffron looks through my magazines and says her legs are fat. There is a worrying culture of girls thinking they're overweight from a very young age,” she said.

The experiment was performed for a programme that will air in the UK next week about extreme parental guidance.

Cambridge's Dr Terri Apter said girls linked thinness with being popular and said “it’s distressing”.

The Sun also reported how sports-mad Lucy Davis, five, was branded unhealthily fat by NHS experts in Poole, Dorset - for being one per cent over her ideal Body Mass Index.

It is disturbing that girls as young as five and six are developing a negative awareness about weight and size. Is there a link between this and the article I posted on 1 February stating that record numbers of school-age girls are being treated in hospital for eating disorders in England?

The Sydney Morning Herald reported last June findings from a study published in the Medical Journal Of Australia in 2009. The study found that between July 2002 and June 2005, 101 five- to 13-year-old children were newly diagnosed with an eating disorder. About two-thirds were affected by anorexia nervosa. The rest were experiencing "food avoidant emotional disorder" - a condition unique to children which involves extreme weight loss driven by high anxiety levels, rather than wanting to be thin.

By the time these children received treatment most were experiencing life-threatening complications such as low body temperature, low blood pressure and slowed heart rate.

This trend rings alarm bells with eating-disorder specialists who know the shocking consequences of an eating disorder left unchecked in children. These include the effects of starvation and electrolyte imbalances which can cause cardiac arrest. Sufferers can also experience impaired fertility, stunted growth and thinning of the bones, in some cases to the point of osteoporosis.

"When kids are starved, their brains shrink, they're more likely to get depressed and anxious, their thinking slows down and memory falters,” said Dr Sloane Madden, child psychiatrist at the Children's Hospital at Westmead. “This affects their relationships with their friends. The effects can be reversed with re-feeding, but not always."

These serious complications can be prevented if children at risk are picked up early. "If children get the right treatment early, 70 to 80 per cent get well in 12 months and 90 per cent are better in five years. This is much better than in adults where the recovery rate at five years is less than 50 per cent," Madden says.

The Maudsley Model of family-oriented treatment is the current treatment of choice for children and new training programs for pediatricians and primary-care health workers are being developed. Meanwhile, although eating disorders in children are still rare, hospital admission rates are increasing. Professor Susan Sawyer, director of the Centre for Adolescent Health at the Royal Children's Hospital in Melbourne, says that over the last five years she has seen a dramatic increase in the number of young people presenting with eating disorders, especially among the 10- to 13-year age group.

After intensive research for my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues coupled with years of devoted work to helping those suffering from eating disorders, I know firsthand that low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness can perpetuate a cycle of self destruction which can lead to the onset of an eating disorder.

It is my personal belief that a positive body image is the result of how you feel about yourself on the inside; that fostering self-love creates inner peace and happiness, and the need to conform to societal and peer pressure diminishes. A negative body image can be a result of self loathing; the need to please others; feelings of hopelessness. And this is not helped by size zero images reflected in the media.

Although media influence is ever-present, parents can aid their child's interpretation of these images and educate them about positive body image. Parents can also increase their child's sense of self worth by focusing on qualities unrelated to size or appearance. If however, a child begins to display an aversion towards food and changes in their eating patterns, seek medical advice as soon as possible so that the child gets the right treatment early. See Treatment Options on page 201 of Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues

A Link Between Autism and Eating Disorders?

The Times in the UK has reported that autism and related conditions are being underdiagnosed in women and teenage girls, with many cases being confused with eating disorders or other problems.

Janet Treasure, an expert on eating disorders at the Institute of Psychiatry, King’s College London, said that women or girls on the autistic spectrum often focused on diet or calorie control, which became their obsession. About one in five women with an eating disorder is thought to be on the autistic spectrum.

A study led by Professor Treasure on 150 women with acute anorexia or bulimia suggests that up to 60 per cent also develop the psychological signs of autism. “Those who are severely underweight and unwell, with serious disruption of eating patterns, share a lot of the cognitive and emotional styles common to autism,” she said. “Their poor nutrition means that they can’t see the bigger picture, they focus on detail and have a rigid way of thinking, finding it hard to adapt.”

These psychological symptoms were lessened when most of the women gained weight. But “girls with autism are at high risk of getting into a pattern of behaviour that can cause a vicious cycle of problems”, said Professor Treasure. “It is important that people notice and try to stop it.”

Mark Lever, the chief executive of the National Autistic Society, said: “We are extremely concerned that many women with autism may be going undiagnosed. So many tell us that trying to get a diagnosis feels like an insurmountable hurdle and they have to fight tremendous battles to get the help, support and services they desperately need.

In April 2009, News Scientist reported that Simon Baron-Cohen of the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge, UK, is also measuring whether adolescents with anorexia score higher on autistic traits than healthy people, as he suspects that some may actually have undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. "We have always known that Asperger's syndrome was diagnosed more often in males," he says. "The new question is whether it takes a different form in females, and can account for at least a subgroup of those who are diagnosed with anorexia."

If it does, this could have important implications for the way that anorexia is treated. "As well as treating the 'eating disorder' the clinician and the patient might [also] focus on social skills," says Baron-Cohen, although he adds that weight gain would remain a key target.

An article in Time in June 2009 reported that London researchers have been studying the commonalities between these two conditions for several years. On the surface, they appear entirely different — in autism, patients have difficulty connecting with people in the outside world, while in anorexia, sufferers seem consumed by other people's perceptions — but Maudsley researchers point out that the salient characteristics of each illness are similar.

For example, both anorexic and autistic patients have a tendency to behave obsessively and suffer from rigid ways of thinking. Tic disorders, which commonly affect people with autism, are found in 27% of people with severe anorexia. And in both conditions, patients have difficulty with "set-shifting," or changing course mentally.

The same article states that according to Dr. Eric Hollander, an attending psychiatrist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City and an expert on autism, there is evidence that the "repetitive thoughts and behaviors, rigid routines and rituals and perfectionism" that characterise both autism and anorexia may be traced to the same regions in the brain.

If this is in fact the case, it would be beneficial to conduct further research into the link between anorexia and autism. Simon Baron-Cohen makes a valid point about using this information to reassess the way anorexia could potentially be treated.

Exposing the Early Warning Signs

A London website states that record numbers of school-age girls are being treated in hospital for eating disorders.

The Mirror reports that under-18s were admitted to NHS hospitals with problems such as anorexia and bulimia 794 times last year in England. That is a massive 55 per cent rise on 2004/05, which saw 512 cases.

Girls of 15 were the most likely to need treatment for their condition, with 194 admissions in the age group last year. But eating disorders have been found in girls as young as eight.

And the new figures reveal the rise in eating disorders among girls shows no signs of abating.

Susan Ringwood of eating disorder charity Beat, said: "Starving the body of food can cause heart and kidney failure, irregular heart beat, low pulse, low blood pressure and low body temperature. It takes 500 calories just to get the brain to work and without enough calories the body starts to shut down. What we need is for doctors to pick up eating disorders quicker so girls don't end up in hospital."

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues, there is a section about early warning signs. As people suffering from eating issues are secretive these signs can be subtle and cited as 'normal' behaviour - unless you are aware of what to look for.

Common warning signs include going on an unusually strict diet, becoming ‘vegetarian’ or ‘vegan’ i.e. cutting out entire food groups under the guise of wanting to be 'healthy', making excuses to avoid eating such as “I ate dinner at my friend’s house”, wearing baggy clothing to hide weight loss, obsession with food preparation, ritualistic behaviour when eating such as cutting food into little pieces, obsession with preparing food, insisting that meals are eaten at a certain time each day or obsessive use of the same plates and utensils.

I also believe there are warning signs before the warning signs and there is a section on my website bodycage.com dedicated to raising awareness of subtle changes in disposition prior to the development and onset of the eating disorder. To read about the warning signs before the warning signs go Here

This disturbing report from London shows there is a pressing need to raise awareness of the seriousness of eating issues especially amongst children and adolescents, as well as the early warning signs. Watch the ones you love closely - if you sense that they are having trouble coping with life or struggling from day to day, reach out and do what you can to get to the heart of the matter. Anxiety almost always stems from an emotional need and if this need is addressed, the destructive path of an eating issue can potentially be avoided.

Let's Get Positive about Body Image

Now that the dust has – seemingly – settled on the ‘is Jennifer Hawkins a role model for positive body image’ debate, I am going to take this whole body image topic off on another tangent.

Posing nude is a form of self expression. Self expression is about self confidence, self respect and having the courage to put yourself out there regardless of public opinion. Hawkins and Dye both showed enormous courage posing nude for mainstream women’s magazines because it left them wide open to both commendation and criticism.

These amazing and confident women have shown self love, inner beauty and importantly, authenticity.

Isn’t this a tangible area of focus that puts a positive spin on the whole body image debate?

The issue about ‘real’ women also comes to light in Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty, which is a brilliant initiative designed to help women value themselves for who they are, flaws and all, and a link that I have posted frequently on Twitter.

I believe we need to help people see that self expression doesn’t have to be about how you look, what you weigh or the size of your clothing. It is how you feel about yourself on the inside and this is what comes to the fore.

Self expression is also a powerful tool in exploring thoughts and feelings. In my book Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues, this is highlighted in the chapter titled Express Yourself. The freedom to express yourself creatively can help access experiences at a subconscious and sensory level, which can offer fresh insights and different ways of looking at things. Creative writing is a popular form of self expression and having a dedicated diary or journal to record thoughts and feelings can lead to a greater awareness of self. Painting, sculpting with clay, tracing images in the sand and dancing also allows the act of creating a safe space to explore feelings in a creative way.

If we take the focus off ‘size’ and instead channel it into inner beauty and self love through self expression and exploration of thoughts and feelings, we can better help people feel good about themselves and therefore encourage positive body image.

Feeling the Love at Christmas

To me, Christmas is about embracing the festive season and making it magical. Sharing this wonderful occasion with family and friends, connecting with people, being grateful for all that is wonderful in our lives and celebrating the gift of giving.

Part of Christmas is also amazing food which ranges from the traditional ham and roast turkey with all the trimmings, to seafood, cold meat platters and salads. And who could go past plum pudding, Christmas cake, chocolates, summer fruits and whatever else the table is laden with? Food is a big part of the festive season. Magazines that hit the stands in January typically feature post festive season dieting tips. And leading up to Christmas, there is plenty of information doing the rounds about party food no-no’s if you want to maintain your figure.

I’d like to take this one step further – or perhaps a step sideways – and say that how much you weigh is not an indication of self worth. Whether you are engaging with people you care about, celebrating at the end of the year Christmas party with colleagues, or dining out with friends, pay attention to how you feel on the inside. Self love is important because positive body image comes when we love ourselves from the inside out.

Take a moment to look into your heart and really feel the love that is there. And as you do, let your mind wander back over the year to some of the amazing moments you’ve experienced; triumphs; joyous moments when life has surprised you; friendships and relationships that have become important to you; places you’ve travelled; unexpected encounters; special events; and on. And recognise that these moments have profoundly shaped your year and lead to where you are now. And as the year comes to a close, and we enjoy the company of those we love and cherish, and sit down together to share a beautiful meal, trade stories, laugh and connect, if you feel love and contentment on the inside, then that is a wonderful gift.

Christmas doesn’t have to be about dwelling on what may be lacking in our lives. If we take the time to look at all the wonderful things we have now, in this moment, we naturally feel a sense of contentment. It could be simple pleasures like feeling the sunshine warm our skin, the smell of freshly cut grass, a hug from someone you love, to having a roof over our heads, special people in our lives and the promise of the endless possibilities that lay before us in the year ahead.

So, as you indulge in Christmas fare, forget about calories and make the practise of sharing a wonderful meal about feeling joyful in the moment.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas to you all, and may your festive season be filled with wondrous moments, meaningful connections, love, laughter and happiness.

Fostering Positive Body Image

With summer upon us, and the beach beckoning, this can be a challenging time for those of us susceptible to negative body image.

It's easy to get swept up in the things that bring us down and that is when self doubt can creep in. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to let go and make way for our inner child to emerge by being playful, having fun and engaging in the moment.

Being outdoors and getting active can boost our confidence, and therefore our self esteem. And nothing beats living with joy and laughter and sharing these moments with the people you love.

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want, there is a section titled 'How Do I Stay Positive?' It talks about inner wisdom; the voice that speaks from your heart. This voice represents your untapped potential to trust in your own uniqueness, your ability to strive for and realise your dreams. Only you have the power to change your life; catch negative thoughts as and when they occur and turn your thinking around, transforming your thoughts into strong, positive ideals.

Here are some tips if you start experiencing negative thoughts:

1. Ask yourself ‘where is this coming from’? Can you back track your thoughts until you find what triggered the initial negative thought? Ask yourself why this thought upset you and decide what action you can take to resolve it.
2. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel down sometimes. Everyone has bad days. Then do something to lift your mood. Read your favourite passage from a book, go for a walk in the sunshine or dance to an awesome song.
3. Create a collection of affirmations that inspire you and say them to yourself often, including when you’re in a great mood. My favourite is: “I am honest, caring and a true reflection of happiness. I am creating a wonderful life”.
4. A fun thing to do is create Affirmation Cards. Get your friends together with some index cards. On the top of each card write a person's name. Pass these around, have everyone write down one thing they love about each person and then take turns reading them aloud. Keep your affirmation card with you and look at it often.
5. Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal. How do you feel today? Why do you think you feel that way? Then choose the best moment of the day and write that down. Why was it so great? Think of ways you can create more of these moments in each day.
6. Practice gratitude. What are some of the amazing things in your life that make you smile? Great friends, sunshine, summer parties, walks on the beach … focus on these instead of thinking about what might be missing in your life.
7. If you can’t seem to escape the negative thoughts, talk, talk, talk to your trusted friends. Talk it all out. Vent until you feel better. Offloading will help you to let it go.

Remember that positive body image stems from self-love; how you feel about yourself on the inside. Keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of. As Tyra Banks famously said "Never dull your shine for somebody else". Words to live by.

The Skinny on Kate Moss

Kate Moss has caused outrage after revealing that one of her mottos is the phrase "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".

Health experts branded her comments to fashion website WWD "absolutely appalling".

Dr Carol Cooper told Sky News Online: "I was horrified when I heard it. We know she's a role model for a lot of girls and young women...and they will be adversely influenced by this."

Mary George, from UK eating disorder charity Beat, told Sky Moss' remarks "make life difficult for those struggling to beat eating disorders". She added "It's very unfortunate that comments like this are made and put on pro-anorexic websites. I'm sure she regrets making them."

A spokesperson for Storm, Moss's model agency, said: "This was part of a longer answer Kate gave during a wider-ranging interview - which has unfortunately been taken out of context and completely misrepresented. For the record - Kate does not support this as a lifestyle choice."

Despite the official comment from Moss's agency, the damage has been done.

It would be interesting to know in what context Kate Moss made such a statement, for that kind of statement can really only be construed one way. At a time where eating disorders amongst young people are on the rise more care needs to be taken by high profile role models in terms of the messages they are putting out there.

In contrast, the other day I was in my local Gloria Jeans ordering a takeaway coffee when a lady tapped me on the arm and said "I read about you in (the Sunday Telegraph's) Body & Soul a few weeks ago" and produced a copy of my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want from her bag. I was amazed to notice the array of crooked post-it notes protruding from the pages. She went on to tell me how her niece had suffered anorexia for three years and the family were devastated because nothing seemed to be working. She said the section in my book 'Helping Someone You Love' had given the family some much needed guidance in terms of what to say - and importantly, what not to say, and the stories about people who had suffered through the turbulent and lonely existence of an eating disorder and then gone on to create happy and successful lives was also inspiring.

"I am going to visit my niece this afternoon and show her your book," she said. I picked up my latte, smiled and wished her well. As I watched her walk away tears filled my eyes. The process of writing my book was intensely emotional as it was rewarding - and random encounters like these warm my heart because it's proof that my book is out there helping people.

If Kate Moss had looked into this woman's eyes when she spoke of her niece and seen the pain and helplessness, perhaps she would have a different take on what "skinny" tastes like.

Now more than ever, we need to empower our young people to love themselves from the inside out, because self-love inspires confidence which inspires positive body image.

Computer Program to track Self Harm Risk

A recent study found that two thirds of young people who self harm don't tell anyone 1. I have spoken with many people who have shared with me the absolute anguish and desperation that led to cutting or burning themselves, and yet despite the momentary 'relief', their emotional pain continued.

25% of people with eating disorders engage in self harming behaviour 2. I was so alarmed by this statistic that I included a chapter titled 'Scarred and Scared' in my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues to help people understand and overcome self harm.

Now there is a computer program being researched by two Victoria University of Wellington researchers. Dr Tiong-Thye Goh and student assistant Yen-Pei Huang have created a system to scan social networking websites and identify key words posted by people aged between 18 and 24.

"Social networking sites have in recent years become an increasingly popular avenue for young people to express and to share their thoughts, views and emotions," Goh said. "When young people are emotionally distressed for instance, instead of the traditional channel of consulting friends, parents or specialists, social networking blogs may provide a channel to share and release their emotions and intentions."

The researchers developed technology that picked up key words and phrases such as "depressed" or "I don't want to live any more". The option of needing help would link to an appropriate website that provides useful information and links.

While this is a fantastic initiative, it is important to note that if you are feeling alone and isolated, there are strategies that will help avert the need to self harm. Creating a similar physical sensation can dissipate overwhelming feelings and emotions. Try squeezing ice cubes in your hand, thrusting your arm into a bucket of cold water, plunging your fingers into some ice-cream or snapping an elastic band against your wrist. Because these intense emotions are fleeting, creating a similar physical sensation will allow the feelings to pass - without leaving scars.

Coming to terms with the underlying causes of self harm is an important part of understanding what motivates this behaviour. Being honest about thoughts, feelings and behaviours with a therapist and establishing motivation is the first step to working through them and an important part of the recovery process.

For more information go Here

1 Children, Youth and Women's Health (2009)
2 Sansone, R.A., Levitt, J.L. and Sansone, R.A. (2003), 'Eating disorders and self-harm behaviour: A chaotic intersection', Eating Disorders Review, vol. 14, pp.1-3

Is Food Intolerance an Eating Disorder in Disguise?

Australian Consolidated Press launched one-off health magazine Your Body this week. The magazine aims to help women live a healthy, balanced life and covers everything from nutrition, stress management, relationships and emotional wellbeing to health and fitness.

An article in Your Body titled 'Allergy or Anxiety; the rise of the 30-something eating disorder' explores food intolerance as a judgement free way of restricting food intake. This article is a must read for anyone who knows someone suffering food intolerance as while many women suffer from genuine conditions, others use this as a convenient excuse to avoid certain types of food.

With orthorexia, sufferers are obsessed with pure and organic food and will only put that which they deem 'healthy' into their mouths, sometimes resulting in cutting out entire food groups such as dairy and meats & protein. However, their motivation is to feel pure and healthy.

With anorexia, the underlying motivation is to lose weight by restricting food. So claiming to suffer from a food intolerance provides the perfect excuse to eliminate certain elements from a meal, thus aiding the anorexic behaviour.

It can be a powerful disguise. When I struggled with anorexia, the first thing I did was announce I had turned vegetarian because of cruelty to animals. Of course the real reason was to avoid eating meat. Then I discovered the new health buzz word was IBS and claimed to suffer from this condition. I refused to eat anything that had a skerrick of butter or sauce, vehemently insisting it would unsettle my stomach and cause cramps and bloating.

A recent US study found that only one in four people who believed they had a food allergy or intolerance actually had one. Further evidence is provided by the UK's Allergy Foundation which estimates that two to three percent of people have a true allergic disorder. While not everyone with a food allergy or intolerance is suffering from an eating disorder, I know from personal experience that when you do have an eating disorder, you will use any excuse to avoid food.

With yet another way to mask disordered eating, it can be even more difficult to recognise in someone you love.

In my book Why Cant' I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues there is a chapter that explains the early warning signs - one of which is going on an unusually strict diet. Others include avoiding eating in front of people or with the family, making excuses such as 'I ate lunch at my friend's house' or 'I'll grab something on the way to work'. Also a sudden obsession in the preparation of food. There are also changes in disposition; the person may become suddenly hostile if questioned about their aversion towards food.

If you suspect someone might be using food allergies or intolerance as a way of hiding an eating disorder, unfortunately most of these warning signs apply. However, the change in disposition is key. Hostility is often a sign of emotional imbalance and if you see this in someone you love coupled with food avoidance, sit them down and let them know you care about them and are concerned about their behaviour. One of the best ways you can help someone you love is to let them know you are there for them, even if you don't understand. Unconditional love, as simple as it sounds, is most effective.

Fasion Magazine goes Model Free

Birgitte, one of Germany's most popular glossy women's magazines, announced yesterday that it will no longer use models in photo spreads in response to changing ideas about beauty.

Instead, the Hamburg-based title plans to choose from readers who register online and staff members based on their meaningful qualities rather than their dress size.

“Attractiveness has many faces,” editor Brigitte Huber said in a statement. “Whether they are actresses, musicians, first ladies or women on the streets of big cities – they all affect fashion and beauty styles.”

The new concept will start next year and is a response to two different trends, co-editor Andreas Lebert said in the statement. “Behind the career of a model lies the idea of not showing women themselves, but instead a place holder – a model of a certain size. Now many women find this outdated, especially the beauty ideals, also moulded by the fashion industry, that are highly controversial,” he said.

Dr. Lisa Pecho, a Munich-based psychotherapist and spokesperson for the BFE national professional association for eating disorder treatment experts, said “I think it’s fantastic what they’re doing. It will serve as a big example. This magazine has a huge influence in Germany. There are many factors that create eating disorders, but the media is certainly a big one.”

This follows reports a few weeks ago that French politicians wish to stamp a 'health warning' on photographs of models that are altered as part of a campaign against eating disorders. The proposed law is designed to fight what they see as a warped image of women's bodies in the media.

And in March this year in Australia, a code of conduct for the fashion industry was set in motion through a Federal Government initiative which saw the creation of a new body image advisory group. Headed up by fashion, health and media experts, including Sarah Murdoch, Mia Freedman and teen magazine editor Sarah Cornish, the aim is to develop national strategies that promote healthy body image.

It appears the rest of the world is starting to follow suit, which is a much needed step forward in the fight against eating disorders. Promoting a realistic body image to our younger generations will empower confidence and self-esteem, which in turn, will serve to eliminate damaging trends.

To read the article go Here

Steriod Abuse Rife amongst Body Conscious Boys

A recent article exposed a shocking fact cited by child health experts: boys as young as 13 are taking steroids to get the ''six-pack'' physique of their sporting heroes.

Clinical psychologist Rita Princi says that body image has become so important that teenage boys are prepared to risk their health by taking steroids if it helps to make them appear more attractive.

''Boys are wanting that buff, manly body and believe that one way to obtain it is to take steroids,'' Ms Princi said. ''They are getting too focused on what they look like rather than who they are.''

University of Sydney child health researcher Jenny O'Dea said she conducted a 2002 study that found teenage boys had started using steroids or were buying pills from a gym or drug dealer to ''bulk up''. "In many ways boys are under more pressure than girls because the girls' task is to be slim but the boys' task is to be slim and then build up muscle,'' Dr O'Dea said.

My book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues exposes a disturbing trend amongst guys being the belief they do not have big enough muscles. A person suffering anorexia thinks 'no matter how much I restrict food, exercise or purge I'm not thin enough', whereas a person suffering muscle dysmorphia thinks 'no matter how much I work out, or how many steroids or muscle-enhancing supplements I take, I can't build enough muscle mass'. As a result, males can develop an obsession with lifting weights in their quest to obtain a muscular physique.

According to Dr Murray Drummond of the University of South Australia, muscle dysmorphia is associated with the drive for muscularity. "Because muscles are created by physical effort, if males want to attain the desired physique, they have to consciously go out and try to achieve it," he says.

Because it is socially and culturally acceptable for guys to undertake a lot of physical activity, body dissatisfaction can often go unnoticed by family and friends. Worse, the behaviours could be encouraged. Working out at the gym is 'healthy'; however working out to mask feelings of inadequacy is not.

Melbourne doctor Rick Kausman, who specialises in weight and eating issues, said he was not surprised teenage boys were using steroids. ''What I am seeing is more boys in distress around their body image,'' Dr Kausman said. ''There's a shift towards doing gym to make my body look better compared to doing gym to be fit for footy.''

Misuse of anabolic steroids can cause cardiac, liver and renal problems and lead to severe mood swings.

As always, we need to be vigilant and watch for warning signs to help the males we love who may be suffering low self esteem and a negative body image. Warning signs include an overaggressive approach to fitness, following dietary programs to the extreme, an increased interest in fitness magazines and a change in eating habits. This can be triggered by childhood bullying, difficulties dealing with being gay, low self esteem due to issues during childhood such as emotional or sexual abuse and parental strictness, especially from a father.

To read the article go Here

Recognising Disordered Eating in Children

In a recent media interview, I was asked whether it is my personal belief that negative body image in teenagers is perpetuated by images portrayed in the media. I believe that young people are susceptible to triggers if they are suffering low self esteem, and a common trigger is images of extreme thinness.

The average child in the UK, US and Australia sees between 20,000 and 40,000 television advertisements per year. They are bombarded with images about how they should look and what they should own. Children struggle to keep up, suffering from anxiety, stress and lower satisfaction in themselves. 1

Societal pressure is taking its toll on our young people. More than two thirds of 15 year old girls are on a diet and a quarter of children diagnosed with anorexia nervosa are boys.

Now more than ever, it is important that parents become aware of the early warning signs so they can gauge if their child is developing an eating disorder.

Jessica Burde, who writes for Helium, has this advice:

1. Eating with your child several times a week will allow you to get a feel for their eating habits. Watch for changes in those habits; a one night change shouldn't worry you, but a severe change that lasts for several weeks is a concern.

2. Watch for sudden weight change i.e. a noticeable change in weight within a short period of time.

3. Listen for 'fat' talk. When your child stops celebrating weight loss, and is not happy no matter how many kilos they've lost, it is a red flag.

4. Watch for bones. Some young people are good at hiding their eating habits so if you start seeing your child's collar bones and wrist bones sticking out, take them to a doctor.

5. Obsessive Eating; an inability to stop eating, especially in times of stress. Some clues to watch for:

a) Are they enjoying food? An obsessive eater generally doesn't enjoy what she or he eats, they just eat. Be worried if your child is eating large amounts of food constantly, but doesn't realise how much they are eating, and/or isn't enjoying it.

b) Watch for cravings - obsessive eaters have them all the time. They go around with food constantly in their hand, and can get irrationally upset if they can't find something to quiet the craving. These cravings will typically worsen when under stress.

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues, there is a chapter dedicated to early warning signs. These signs are often subtle and can be passed off as 'normal' behaviour - unless you know what to look for. Some common ones are avoiding eating with others, obsession with food preparation and a change in attitude towards food e.g. becoming vegan or cutting out entire food groups under the guise of wanting to be 'healthy'.

Another lesser known warning sign is ritualistic behaviour when eating, such as cutting food into tiny pieces, insisting that meals are eaten at a particular time each day or obsessive use of the same crockery and cutlery.

Whilst images in the media can heighten our children's anxiety when it comes to self image and body image, if we become vigilant about the early warning signs and therefore understand what constitutes disordered eating, we have a very real chance of catching the behaviour early and reducing the alarming incidence of eating disorders.

1 Williams, Z 2006, The Commercialisation of Children, Compass, London

Body Image A Huge Concern for Teens

A survey of almost 2,000 Australian teens has revealed that the vast majority have anxiety over their own body image and the unhealthy images being promoted, with only 27% of Australian teens claiming they are happy when they look in the mirror. A significant 33% of teens have had an eating disorder, or have known someone with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia.

Habbo released the findings yesterday as part of an online survey of 1,957 Australians aged 12 to 18 (Generation Z). An even number of males and females participated in the survey, with respondents from each state and territory.

The following channels were voted as responsible for promoting unhealthy body images:

1. Media – 43%
2. Models – 27%
3. Friends – 7%
4. Schools – 6%
5. Parents – 5%
6. Body builders - 5%

Australian teens (32%) believe that using healthy sized models and ambassadors across all media is the best way to increase awareness about healthy body image. 31% suggested further education in schools, followed by television programs promoting a healthy outlook (13%).

Ngaire Stevens, Business Development Manager, Sulake & Habbo, explains “The results from the Habbo Body Image Survey suggest that teens in Generation Z are wary of the pressures around them to have a certain type of body image ... the concerning thing is that they are still dieting, are not happy with their own body images and feel pressure to adhere to what’s being promoted in the media and other channels of influence. Generation Z is an extremely aware generation and they are calling for healthier body images to be promoted ... the initiatives currently in place are clearly not having a significant enough impact. We would like to see action taken by the media industry, health departments and the Federal Government to address body image issues for Australian teenagers.”

Last night I took part in an online forum for Reach Out discussing body image and it is clear there is still much that needs to be done to make young people aware of the dangers of dieting and the serious consequences of eating disorders. We also need to educate young people about the best ways to help and support someone they love.

With that in mind, this survey clearly establishes the need for the media industry in particular to actively promote health and wellbeing in direct relation to positive body image to protect and foster the body confidence and self esteem of this next generation of Australian teens.

For details of the survey go Here

Celebrate Body Image & Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Today marks the start of National Body Image & Eating Disorders Awareness Week, an annual event held in the first week of September. This morning I was in Martin Place, Sydney, supporting the Butterfly Foundation in raising awareness of positive body image and eating disorders. There is so much that needs to be done to let people know how devastating these illnesses are - and how widespread they are becoming.

Just over two thirds of teen girls are on a diet1. Anorexia is the third most chronic illness for adolescent girls in Australia (after obesity and asthma) 2. The incidence of binge eating disorder in males and females is almost equal3. With statistics such as these, it is so important that we do as much as possible to raise awareness of the dangers of dieting.

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want, I highlight what to do if someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder. Sometimes it's not easy to know what to say - or exactly how to say it. Comments such as "you look great in that", "you're looking so much better", "you haven't put on that much weight" make the person feel as though they look fat. Similarly, if you know someone who is struggling with anorexia, don't 'reassure' them that they are thin. You cannot win by placing value - positive or negative - on someone's weight.

Helpful comments are ones which praise the person for traits not associated with physicality, and let them know you love them. For example "we're here even if we don't understand", "you seem so much happier", "aren't you clever, figuring that out". Unconditional love from family and friends is also important. A hug, kiss or a rub on the arm will show the person that you care.

My personal belief is that you can never give too much love. People with eating disorders despise themselves and need to know you love them no matter what. Although nothing you say is going to be right, if you can be there and love the person for who they are no matter what they do, this will give them evidence against everything the eating disorder is telling them. The more you prove the eating disorder wrong, the more likely they are to question what it tells them, which will help them fight it.

There are many events and opportunities happening throughout Australia to mark National Body Image & Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Visit The Butterfly Foundation for more information.

1 Patton, G.C., Selzer, R., Coffey, C.,Carlin J.B. and Wolfe, R. (1999), 'Onset of adolescent eating disorders: population based cohort study over 3 years', British Medical Journal, vol. 318, pp. 765-8

2 Hsu, L.K.G. (1996), Epidemiology of the eating disorders', Psychiatric Clinics of North America, vol. 19, 99. 681-700

3 Paxton, S. (1998) 'Do men get eating disorders?', Everybody - Newsletter of Body Image and Health Inc., vol. 2, August.

Recession fuels 'Manorexia'

Sky News UK reports that financial fears and the recession are contributing to the rise of anorexia in males.

Professor Hubert Lacey, who runs the eating disorder unit at St George's Hospital in London, has seen the number of male referrals double in the past few years.

"These are just my observations and because the numbers are so small, statistics can be misleading but I think there has been a cultural change," he said."The recession is a factor because when jobs are under threat, people think more about how they present themselves."

In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want, I have dedicated a chapter to males and eating disorders, because of the alarming statistics: one in ten young adults and one in four children diagnosed with anorexia are male1 . As Prof Lacey points out, this figure could be even higher given that traditionally males are less likely to seek help because the common belief is that anorexia and bulimia are female conditions, which threatens their masculinity.

Equally disturbing is the emerging trend in guys who believe they do not have big enough muscles and as a result, develop an obsession with lifting weights in their quest to attain a muscular physique. This is referred to as muscle dysmorphia, or bigorexia, and drives guys to exercise obsessively every day because they experience feelings of acute shame about their bodies. It is estimated that 17% of males are on some form of diet and that steroid abuse and exercise disorders are increasing in the young male population2. This shows how drastically males are suffering from low self esteem and body image issues.

The onset of an eating disorder in males is usually due to a specific trigger or set of triggers, such as childhood bullying, emotional abuse, difficulties dealing with being gay and parental strictness especially from a father.

One of the males interviewed by Sky News, Aaron aged 31, says "My job contributed to a sense of purposelessness in life. Losing weight was a way of regaining the sense of self worth, improvement and achievement."

Rob aged 15, says "...in my case, the sense of rampant, desperate competition and definition of self worth through attainment... served to push me farther down a path to self destruction. "

Mitchell Doyle was bullied and developed anorexia as a teenager, and his remarkable story of recovery is profiled in Why Can't I Look the Way I Want. He says "the voice in your head is strong, but you are stronger. The eating disorder will divide you as a person, but the best feeling is being able to wake up and be happy with who you are. My last word to you is to keep holding on, even when dignity fails. Aim high, aim to win, aim to live.

Words that I hope, with a greater awareness of bigorexia and manorexia, males will choose to live by.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Manorexia-Recession-Leading-To-More-Men-Becoming-Anorexic-Say-Doctors/Article/200908315365730?lpos=UK_News_First_Home_Page_Feature_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15365730_Manorexia:_Recession_Leading_To_More_Men_Becoming_Anorexic,_Say_Doctors

1 Paxton, S. (1998) 'Do men get eating disorders?', Everybody - Newsletter of Body Image and Health Inc., Vol 2, August, p.41

2 Weekend Australian, April 1999